Generally speaking, jealousy is an emotion experienced when you're confronted by someone who you perceive has a higher status in some way than you do. The experience of jealousy is a normal part of life and in small doses, nothing to worry about. However, jealousy can reduce your enjoyment of life and your friendships and relationships with others. Minimizing jealousy can be done by taking steps to trust yourself and your partner, recognize what it is you're truly jealous of, and increasing your self-esteem.Trust
Although jealousy is a normal response in certain situations, it is unhealthy to doubt the intentions of your friend or partner without having any concrete reason to do so. When jealousy strikes, take a few deep breaths and remember that your friend or partner is a part of your life for a reason. Realistically, there will always be someone who is better than you in some way. That fact does not have to make you feel jealous, and in fact, will often make you feel worse. The best thing to do is to hold fast to the trust you've established in your relationship or friendship. Remember times when your friend or partner has done or said something that encapsulated why he is in a friendship or relationship with you. Trust is not something that can be easily or quickly re-established, and in most cases it is selectively given. Honor what you and your friend or partner have by having faith in the trust you share.
Recognizing Fears
When someone comes into your life through your partner or friends, you may initially fear that you are being replaced. Take a minute though, and examine what that really means. Unless your friend or partner has explicitly stated that you aren't meeting some need of theirs, why should it bother you that they have another friend? What is really going on is you're being confronted with your own insecurities. If you wonder what it is your friend or partner sees in you, remember that they are involved with you for a reason. Despite the flaws you may have or the successes you think you lack, the other person still wants to be a part of your life. Recognize what it is that scares you the most. Is it a fear of abandonment? Being cheated on? Have you had something similar happen in your past? Recognizing and analyzing your fears can go a long way in minimizing jealousy. If you're having a difficult time recognizing your fears from a neutral perspective, talk with a trusted friend or family member, or see a counselor.
Improving Self-Esteem
Once you've recognized your fears and how they impact your feelings of jealousy, the next thing you want to focus on is eliminating your insecurities and increasing your self-esteem. Jealousy is a direct by-product of low self-esteem and insecurity. If you find that you often feel insecure (or jealous) and that doing things to cheer yourself up doesn't seem to help, you may be plagued with low self-esteem. Feeling jealous of the successes of others can be a haunting reminder of your own failings, which in turn can lead to feelings of jealousy, and the cycle goes on and on. Break the cycle by focusing on your positive qualities. Remember, your friend or partner is with you for a reason. If you're feeling particularly low about yourself, don't be afraid to ask them directly what they like about you. You can also practice "positive self talk," in which you think positive, realistic thoughts about yourself to combat the negative thoughts that decrease your self-esteem.